what has happened and what the future holds

Honestly, terrible things have happened in my life in these months passed.


My girlfriend and I of many years broke up. I really felt as if someone had died and, honestly, I was in mourning for many months. Kept having these images, dreams and flashbacks. Almost drove myself insane. After a while, I realized that she is alive and well and even went on a new year's vacation with some other guy. Helped me to start moving at snail pace.

My job went south cause of politics and random old men who are too old to understand when things change. Last year, I had spent all my heart and soul trying to make things work for my team. Just gave it all I had and my ignorant boss thought we all faltered. Idiot.

My knee was busted in a half marathon in Feb and I was not able to workout for 2 months. This is after I spent January running 7 miles a day. I was hanging onto the only thing I had at that time. My health.

Thats the three things a man has in his life. Love, Career, and Health. All were gone.

Then came Hawaii...

For the first time, I felt like I found someone I could fall in love with again. It was all based on friendship. I didn't even touch her, but my heart was beating again!! First time in a LONG time. Its pretty confusing that I am leaving so I decide not to mess with her life. I am totally alone and totally unattached. Yes, I am a wanderer.

For the first time, I saw the bigger picture in my career. I used to take on my goals like my destiny, but they aren't. They are just numbers. I have a HUGE heart and I can take a fall. My ability is way beyond where I am working now. I need to put myself in a spot where I want to be. Thats my goal when I get back.

For the first time in 2 months. I went all out 30 days of excercise. The trend is on my side now. I am going to go on a super healthy diet to get myself back to the old me.

I have more to write tomorrow. Good night.