In the last month, I have move my horizons to a new level. I surfed, kayaked, wind surfed, hiked, ran, jumped, swung, dived, danced, sailed, and was simply blown away. I met so many great people with totally different view points of life. I learnt whats it like to live in paradise. For the first time in my life, I was able to write down my thoughts and be organized. I realized that in life, its about moving forward. Its about breaking barriers. Its also about knowing who you are. That is what gives you the satifaction day after day so you can be content. I learnt that life is a roller coaster and I should get used to it and expect things to be good and then bad. But I should wholly believe that things are going to get better.
I believe that the most important thing in life is time. If I can get time advantage by spending money, I'll do it. Cause I can get the money back, but I can never get the time back.
So what is it that I want now?
I want to finish my physical fitness mania by losing the remaining few pounds.
I want to get the girl of my dreams in my arms.
I want to change things up in my career and go for it all!
Remember, these are goals from my perspective. Every second I lived and gathered experience has made me form these goals. Yours could be totally different or you could not even have any goals. Thats the beauty of each indivdual. This is what I want and as time passes, I'll feel satified as I make progress in each one. A year from now, it could all change. You never know :-).
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Hawaii didn't want me to leave
So on the way to the airport, I realized that I might be late. Well, if I realize I am late, then its WAY late by a normal person's standards. But after a huge amount of hustle, I am in the terminal about 15 minutes before departure. Then by some glorius mistake, I went to the wrong terminal on the other side of the airport. After I realized my mistake, I RAN to the correct terminal only to see the plane taxing off!! Maybe I wanted to make that mistake on purpose. Luckly, the hawaiian airline dudes had another flight to SFO (instead of SJC) leaving in 10 minutes so I had to run AGAIN across the terminal back to the other side. I made the second flight and now I am sitting on cal train going back to san jose. But not before I froze my ass of in 51 degree weather waiting outside for the train for 20 minutes!! Cheez, I forgot "how cold" cold is!! I feel like I have frost bite.
How do you live your day?
I feel privleged to have this month in Hawaii. I was able to do everything I wanted cause I have the resources.
Here's an old quote that everyone has heard - "I am my own worst enemy"
As someone goes through a day, they feel many ups and downs. It leaves people in a mixed state day after day and life doesn't feel as great as it should. We all know that most of us have very "easy" lives. By easy I mean that we aren't fighting for our lives, but instead other factors are out there that affect us with just as much stress as if we were fighting for our lives. The best part is that we are in a situation that we can do something about it. We are in a situation that we can help ourselves. I'll say it again, we have full power over how we feel everyday.
Here's a few things we can do everyday to make our lives better -
Break your negative patterns - patterns are behaviours and emotions that happen over and over cause of a stimulus. Like binge eating due to stress, depression due to lost loves, etc. Patterns are addictive, but breaking them is possible. If you can recognize the pattern, break it. Here's how you do it. As you see the pattern happening, radically change your mental and physical state. Simple. I mean, jump around and yell like a wolf. Just something stupid and funny. Keep doing it. Do it in public also. You'll give others a chuckle.
Keep an ocean away from negative "stuff" - just stay away from people or things that make you feel worse than you already feel. Like a song that brings back bad memories or someone who only critizes you. This is really important.
Eat a whole food diet - Food is a HUGE factor in how you feel everyday. Eating sugary and salty stuff will give you pleasure immediately, but will ultimately make you feel like the dumps. Break the eating pattern and eat whole foods. Whole foods are foods which don't come with nutrition labels. There's lots of text on this, but the general rule is lots of veges, fruits and nuts. Some amount of meat.
If you do these three things daily. You'll see how your life moves a level up.
I have to add one more thing to this post -
How do you motivate yourself to do any of this?
Setup a few goals and write down all the reasons why you want those goals. A list. Think about all the reason why you must achieve the goals and how it'll make your life better. Realize how much you WANT it. Keep the goals in a spot where you can see it everyday. It'll keep you going like the energizer bunny.
Here's an old quote that everyone has heard - "I am my own worst enemy"
As someone goes through a day, they feel many ups and downs. It leaves people in a mixed state day after day and life doesn't feel as great as it should. We all know that most of us have very "easy" lives. By easy I mean that we aren't fighting for our lives, but instead other factors are out there that affect us with just as much stress as if we were fighting for our lives. The best part is that we are in a situation that we can do something about it. We are in a situation that we can help ourselves. I'll say it again, we have full power over how we feel everyday.
Here's a few things we can do everyday to make our lives better -
Break your negative patterns - patterns are behaviours and emotions that happen over and over cause of a stimulus. Like binge eating due to stress, depression due to lost loves, etc. Patterns are addictive, but breaking them is possible. If you can recognize the pattern, break it. Here's how you do it. As you see the pattern happening, radically change your mental and physical state. Simple. I mean, jump around and yell like a wolf. Just something stupid and funny. Keep doing it. Do it in public also. You'll give others a chuckle.
Keep an ocean away from negative "stuff" - just stay away from people or things that make you feel worse than you already feel. Like a song that brings back bad memories or someone who only critizes you. This is really important.
Eat a whole food diet - Food is a HUGE factor in how you feel everyday. Eating sugary and salty stuff will give you pleasure immediately, but will ultimately make you feel like the dumps. Break the eating pattern and eat whole foods. Whole foods are foods which don't come with nutrition labels. There's lots of text on this, but the general rule is lots of veges, fruits and nuts. Some amount of meat.
If you do these three things daily. You'll see how your life moves a level up.
I have to add one more thing to this post -
How do you motivate yourself to do any of this?
Setup a few goals and write down all the reasons why you want those goals. A list. Think about all the reason why you must achieve the goals and how it'll make your life better. Realize how much you WANT it. Keep the goals in a spot where you can see it everyday. It'll keep you going like the energizer bunny.
what has happened and what the future holds
Honestly, terrible things have happened in my life in these months passed.
My girlfriend and I of many years broke up. I really felt as if someone had died and, honestly, I was in mourning for many months. Kept having these images, dreams and flashbacks. Almost drove myself insane. After a while, I realized that she is alive and well and even went on a new year's vacation with some other guy. Helped me to start moving at snail pace.
My job went south cause of politics and random old men who are too old to understand when things change. Last year, I had spent all my heart and soul trying to make things work for my team. Just gave it all I had and my ignorant boss thought we all faltered. Idiot.
My knee was busted in a half marathon in Feb and I was not able to workout for 2 months. This is after I spent January running 7 miles a day. I was hanging onto the only thing I had at that time. My health.
Thats the three things a man has in his life. Love, Career, and Health. All were gone.
Then came Hawaii...
For the first time, I felt like I found someone I could fall in love with again. It was all based on friendship. I didn't even touch her, but my heart was beating again!! First time in a LONG time. Its pretty confusing that I am leaving so I decide not to mess with her life. I am totally alone and totally unattached. Yes, I am a wanderer.
For the first time, I saw the bigger picture in my career. I used to take on my goals like my destiny, but they aren't. They are just numbers. I have a HUGE heart and I can take a fall. My ability is way beyond where I am working now. I need to put myself in a spot where I want to be. Thats my goal when I get back.
For the first time in 2 months. I went all out 30 days of excercise. The trend is on my side now. I am going to go on a super healthy diet to get myself back to the old me.
I have more to write tomorrow. Good night.
My girlfriend and I of many years broke up. I really felt as if someone had died and, honestly, I was in mourning for many months. Kept having these images, dreams and flashbacks. Almost drove myself insane. After a while, I realized that she is alive and well and even went on a new year's vacation with some other guy. Helped me to start moving at snail pace.
My job went south cause of politics and random old men who are too old to understand when things change. Last year, I had spent all my heart and soul trying to make things work for my team. Just gave it all I had and my ignorant boss thought we all faltered. Idiot.
My knee was busted in a half marathon in Feb and I was not able to workout for 2 months. This is after I spent January running 7 miles a day. I was hanging onto the only thing I had at that time. My health.
Thats the three things a man has in his life. Love, Career, and Health. All were gone.
Then came Hawaii...
For the first time, I felt like I found someone I could fall in love with again. It was all based on friendship. I didn't even touch her, but my heart was beating again!! First time in a LONG time. Its pretty confusing that I am leaving so I decide not to mess with her life. I am totally alone and totally unattached. Yes, I am a wanderer.
For the first time, I saw the bigger picture in my career. I used to take on my goals like my destiny, but they aren't. They are just numbers. I have a HUGE heart and I can take a fall. My ability is way beyond where I am working now. I need to put myself in a spot where I want to be. Thats my goal when I get back.
For the first time in 2 months. I went all out 30 days of excercise. The trend is on my side now. I am going to go on a super healthy diet to get myself back to the old me.
I have more to write tomorrow. Good night.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Starbucks Iced Green Tea - Sweetened
My people (that means you), you all have to go to starbucks and try the Iced Green Tea. Tell them sweetened, not stirred. It is the most refreshing drink I have had in a long time. Its is so good and so sweet and so EXCELLENT! I am sipping on it right now. One sec... AHHHHHH, so good.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Eyes Wide Shut
Look at this! I am person number nine. Whats up with people? Why do they need to be with someone? Well, its the meaning of life. Finding someone we love and leaving our children to carry on our genes is what nature intended for us. Our society makes that fundamental truth seem like a path that is boring and something "everyone does anyway." Although, if you ask anyone who has had kids and is in a good marraige, they are the HAPPIEST people you'll meet. As mundane as that sounds, its what we are here for. Now, with that said, I am not ready for marraige (I can't even spell it) and kids. My logic is that you have to go step by step. First I gotta find someone I can LOVE and TRUST and someone who'll do the SAME for me. Only then I can move forward to the next steps. So after more than 6 months after my last relationship, I sincerely want to be with someone. I want to be with a girl who'll bring me a piece of mind. I want to be with a girl who'll let me live and I'll let her live. A girl who's honest and compassionate. A girl who's absolutely beautiful ... to me, inside and out.
There was only one girl who had a chance at my heart even when it was CLOSED! I can't figure out why that was the case. If you are reading this, I hope it puts a smile on your face. I'll see you soon.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I can't believe I have to leave Oahu soon!
My days have been so packed, I can't believe I have spent 22 days here already!! Yesterday, I made a new friend at dinner and he HOOKED ME UP with three big things. I am about to leave in a few minutes to get scuba diving certified! Diving is such a thrill and its also like meditation. You get to see a different world. This world is not only beautiful, but its based on just instincts. That means I have to also work on instincts. There's no emotions there! This is good for me cause I don't follow my instincts all the time and let things go by. I have one big mistake I made just the night before I went on sabbatical where I didn't follow my instincts. Its not looking good for me. She's off somewhere else and seems to have forgotten about me already :-).
Tomorrow, I am going to go surfing (duh), but I am also going to go to Parkour class. They are going to teach about doing stunts. http://youtube.com/watch?v=jquXcwooV6A
On Saturday, I am going to try out crossfit. Its a gym that focuses on pure power building. Thats what I want!! Soon (than later) I am going to be JACKED!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Lets go of your limits
Yesterday, I jumped off a 25 feet high cliff. Few years ago, I would have never jumped, but within a few minutes of standing next to the edge and admiring the view, I was airborne.
Breaking limits that you have set for yourself is one of the toughest parts of life. Even little ones. I believe that personal satisfaction in life is directly related to your self worth. Your self worth keeps growing as you keep moving your limits. You keep reaching new levels. And the great part is that the more you break your limits, the EASIER is becomes.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Isn't this interesting?
Check out this picture I took while leaving Kauai. There's a car in the way and you can see the streaking headlights. BUT the license plate shows up like it didn't move!!!
Wow, the magic of Kauai.
Going to North Shore of the island tomorrow. Going to check out all the sights and go on a 4 hr kayaking trip on Kahana bay!! I love kayaking!
Monestaries are slow to reply!
I have two weeks left and I can't find monestaries who move fast enough to let me come right away! Does anyone know of a place I can go? I need a place to go!
Here's some news, my right knee is feeling much better cause I only ran twice in the last 3 weeks!! I am going to go on a long run today! About 10 miles around waikiki. I know exactly where to go!
BTW, I definitely plan to continue windsurfing with my roomie once I return to the bay. I also want a boat! A starter boat kinda like this one - http://sfbay.craigslist.org/pen/boa/639378765.html. After I learn, then it'll be time to trade up!
Here's some news, my right knee is feeling much better cause I only ran twice in the last 3 weeks!! I am going to go on a long run today! About 10 miles around waikiki. I know exactly where to go!
BTW, I definitely plan to continue windsurfing with my roomie once I return to the bay. I also want a boat! A starter boat kinda like this one - http://sfbay.craigslist.org/pen/boa/639378765.html. After I learn, then it'll be time to trade up!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
The path to my goals of extreme fitness which'll blow away any competition is not clear
I have now spent 16 days straight of working out hard in the ocean everyday for multiple hours. Its taking its toll... I have a deep cut in my right shin which is still bleeding after one week. My left arms hurts when I lift it up. It wakes me up at night cause of pain when I move around. I hit my head on the windsurfing board and I am having headaches today. I have countless bruises, cuts and scrapes on my arms and legs. I hurt my back on the rafting trip to Napali coast cause the swell was so big that day. It was tossing me around like a twig. I have a slight left ankle sprain. To sum it up, my body is totally beat up.
I am still going surfing today at diamond head :-). Its supposed to be the biggest waves today!!!
I'll tell everyone what I really want and need and desire. What I really need is to lean out!! I need to go on a supremely awesome, healthy diet to help me get super skinny so my six pack has a chance to show! I need to live like a buddist monk with no earthly pleasure to distract me from my goals. Hawaii has a abundance of two things that distract me. Food and Girls! The food is awesome and the girls are awesome... rrr! In San Jose, if a girl is cute, she acts like a goddess. Here a cute girl can be replaced at will. Its like going shopping with so many choices at the dollar store! Its a huge distraction. The food is amazing and I get HUNGRY after getting beat up while working out.
I think I am going to be a buddist monk soon and will have to cut my hawaii trip short but couple of weeks. I am thinking of going to a buddist temple in the middle of nowhere and live the holy life. They eat vegetarian once a day and work and pray all day. There's no ben and jerrys within a 100 mile radius.
I hate to leave hawaii. I'll make a decision by tomorrow morning.
I am still going surfing today at diamond head :-). Its supposed to be the biggest waves today!!!
I'll tell everyone what I really want and need and desire. What I really need is to lean out!! I need to go on a supremely awesome, healthy diet to help me get super skinny so my six pack has a chance to show! I need to live like a buddist monk with no earthly pleasure to distract me from my goals. Hawaii has a abundance of two things that distract me. Food and Girls! The food is awesome and the girls are awesome... rrr! In San Jose, if a girl is cute, she acts like a goddess. Here a cute girl can be replaced at will. Its like going shopping with so many choices at the dollar store! Its a huge distraction. The food is amazing and I get HUNGRY after getting beat up while working out.
I think I am going to be a buddist monk soon and will have to cut my hawaii trip short but couple of weeks. I am thinking of going to a buddist temple in the middle of nowhere and live the holy life. They eat vegetarian once a day and work and pray all day. There's no ben and jerrys within a 100 mile radius.
I hate to leave hawaii. I'll make a decision by tomorrow morning.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
windsurfing is ON
After getting cancelled twice, I finally get to go out to windsurf in Kailua today!!
I went to lanikai beach yesterday near Kailua. There's these two small islands off the beach which look stunningly beautiful. I want to be able to swim there about half a mile out. If not, then I'll rent a kayak and paddle over there!
I went to lanikai beach yesterday near Kailua. There's these two small islands off the beach which look stunningly beautiful. I want to be able to swim there about half a mile out. If not, then I'll rent a kayak and paddle over there!
Finding someone right for you
Guys -
How do you know when you have found someone right for you? (Please comment if you care to share)
I used to be idealistic, until one woman was able to utterly crush my innocent little thoughts in a systematic massacre like the holocaust. Now in the aftermath of the utopia that I thought as reality, I turned into a lot more patient and understanding person. With that come these thoughts...
Someone right for you is the person who matches you in as many ways as possible. Physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. Someone who shows you mercy when there's no reason to. Gives to you when she has nothing to gain from it. When you can't shock and awe her with glit and glammer. This is still pretty idealistic...
On the flip side, you have to be a person who's able to find someone right for you. You gotta believe and be optimistic (not jaded). Here a quote that sums it up, "The secret to success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes." Basically, to have someone be right for you, you have to be right for her. Otherwise, it was wrong. Just swallow it and move on.
Girls -
I would like to know from as many girls as possible what they feel makes the right man for them. Remember to differentiate between what you FEEL you want versus what you really want when you see it. Please email me your thoughts and in return, as an incentive, I'll randomly pick one of you to recieve a $100 Banana Republic gift certificate that I have sitting at my house. I also have a flurry of other gifts that I bought for certain people and never got to them, if you'd like those instead. Please send email to ksaftermath@yahoo.com.
How do you know when you have found someone right for you? (Please comment if you care to share)
I used to be idealistic, until one woman was able to utterly crush my innocent little thoughts in a systematic massacre like the holocaust. Now in the aftermath of the utopia that I thought as reality, I turned into a lot more patient and understanding person. With that come these thoughts...
Someone right for you is the person who matches you in as many ways as possible. Physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. Someone who shows you mercy when there's no reason to. Gives to you when she has nothing to gain from it. When you can't shock and awe her with glit and glammer. This is still pretty idealistic...
On the flip side, you have to be a person who's able to find someone right for you. You gotta believe and be optimistic (not jaded). Here a quote that sums it up, "The secret to success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes." Basically, to have someone be right for you, you have to be right for her. Otherwise, it was wrong. Just swallow it and move on.
Girls -
I would like to know from as many girls as possible what they feel makes the right man for them. Remember to differentiate between what you FEEL you want versus what you really want when you see it. Please email me your thoughts and in return, as an incentive, I'll randomly pick one of you to recieve a $100 Banana Republic gift certificate that I have sitting at my house. I also have a flurry of other gifts that I bought for certain people and never got to them, if you'd like those instead. Please send email to ksaftermath@yahoo.com.
Arrogance
Have you ever been modest and then suddenly found that people around you think that they are better than you? That they can look at you and be like, "yeah, I am better than that?"
Maybe its just a trait in certain people. I think I had it before and I absolutely disklike that trait. For me, it stemmed from the fact that I didn't think I was good enough and my ego couldn't bear that thought. Not until I realized that legends are created from break through moments when you are able to conquer your fears and not from being the absolute best at every moment. Everyone takes many falls, but if you have those special amazing moments, thats all you remember. Thats all everyone remembers. Nonetheless, if you are around people who can make you feel small without ever giving you any props, but a LARGE distance between you and them. Most of the time, its unnecessary.
Maybe its just a trait in certain people. I think I had it before and I absolutely disklike that trait. For me, it stemmed from the fact that I didn't think I was good enough and my ego couldn't bear that thought. Not until I realized that legends are created from break through moments when you are able to conquer your fears and not from being the absolute best at every moment. Everyone takes many falls, but if you have those special amazing moments, thats all you remember. Thats all everyone remembers. Nonetheless, if you are around people who can make you feel small without ever giving you any props, but a LARGE distance between you and them. Most of the time, its unnecessary.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Sing it
Go speed racer
Go speed racer
Goooooooooooooo!!
Who wants to see this movie with me in May?? Email me.
I was born to be a speed racer and a thrill seeker in general.
Go speed racer
Goooooooooooooo!!
Who wants to see this movie with me in May?? Email me.
I was born to be a speed racer and a thrill seeker in general.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Kauai is ultra kewl
So I landed in Kauai to find a costco! And even a Walmart! I am really surprised, but looking at everything else, the island put me in a state of bliss. A state where I really would do what I desire and leave earthly pressures behind. I take this trip as a vacation from a vacation!! Can you believe that? I need a vacation from my vacation. My body was so beat up with scratches and bruises that I was just starting to sit around. Now in this second level vacation, I feel a relaxation from my first vacation. So from now on I'll make it a point to always have 2nd level vacations and maybe will even go to the 3rd level, if needed. Well, in this mini-vacation, I am having a ball!!!
I met with a med student who's out in Oahu for a month for a job and we went to Kauai. His name is Andy and he's a cool kat. We get along really well. Reminds me of a highschool kinda friendship. Its been a while since I had a new friend like that. Well... since high school. So this morning we headed out to a waterfall where they have a rope swing. 20 feet high above the lagoon this swing seemed kinda dangerous, but wow, once I got on, I didn't look back. It was a BLAST!! The lagoon had warm fresh water that felt really good to swim in.
Then after we finished there we headed out to shipwreck beach. We were going to to jump a 50 feet cliff, but when we got to the top and looked down into the blue. We were like, oh SHIT! Our excuse was that there was no local person there jumping and we didn't want to jump at the wrong spot and into the rocks! That would certainly hurt.
And THEN, we went over to some other beach where we went to a spot where the lava had formed into a huge jaccuzi. It was a great spot to relax until massive waves started to beat down on us.
Then we went to a fresh water cave where that was getting real dark. It was like the earth's mouth about to swallow us and honestly it scared the big jesus out of us. But we ended up swimming a little bit in the cold, cold water but didn't have the guts to go into the depths where it was dark as hell and bats could have housed us.
oh, and I had some shaved ice today! Yummy
I met with a med student who's out in Oahu for a month for a job and we went to Kauai. His name is Andy and he's a cool kat. We get along really well. Reminds me of a highschool kinda friendship. Its been a while since I had a new friend like that. Well... since high school. So this morning we headed out to a waterfall where they have a rope swing. 20 feet high above the lagoon this swing seemed kinda dangerous, but wow, once I got on, I didn't look back. It was a BLAST!! The lagoon had warm fresh water that felt really good to swim in.
Then after we finished there we headed out to shipwreck beach. We were going to to jump a 50 feet cliff, but when we got to the top and looked down into the blue. We were like, oh SHIT! Our excuse was that there was no local person there jumping and we didn't want to jump at the wrong spot and into the rocks! That would certainly hurt.
And THEN, we went over to some other beach where we went to a spot where the lava had formed into a huge jaccuzi. It was a great spot to relax until massive waves started to beat down on us.
Then we went to a fresh water cave where that was getting real dark. It was like the earth's mouth about to swallow us and honestly it scared the big jesus out of us. But we ended up swimming a little bit in the cold, cold water but didn't have the guts to go into the depths where it was dark as hell and bats could have housed us.
oh, and I had some shaved ice today! Yummy
Friday, April 11, 2008
DiamondK injured last two days
Since Wednesday, my right shin is totally bruised and unusable after I fell off the ledge. My windsurfing was cancelled yesterday cause there was no wind and I didn't want to get into the water cause that little wound hasn't clotted yet. Sharks would be like "Yummyyy!" Its still bleeding 2 days later!! I just sat with a fan on my leg for one hour hoping it will start to dry up and its finally starting to look it its going to clot. YES!!! Clot dammit so I can get back into the water.
On another note, I am going to Kauai today!!! YEEEEEEHAW! Going to jump on a flight soon and I'll be posting my first pictures of Kauai tomorrow. This island is known as the garden of Hawaii.
Argh, I just looked again and its again wet and gooey :-O. These pictures really don't show the damage, but local people have said comments like, "Dude, you just lot a chunk of your meat."
On another note, I am going to Kauai today!!! YEEEEEEHAW! Going to jump on a flight soon and I'll be posting my first pictures of Kauai tomorrow. This island is known as the garden of Hawaii.
Argh, I just looked again and its again wet and gooey :-O. These pictures really don't show the damage, but local people have said comments like, "Dude, you just lot a chunk of your meat."
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